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The definition of bullying will vary by school and state.

Your state may have a legal definition and schools generally have their own unique bullying policy.

Often, they’ll choose how to act according to what the adults in their life expect them to do.

Therefore, it’s important for adults seeking to resolve a bullying situation to avoid labeling the child engaging in bullying behavior as a “bully.” They must, of course, be held accountable for their actions, but it’s equally important to find out they are engaging in that behavior.

Students are powerful in these situations because: By showing support for the target, or even by just not joining in on the bullying, bystanders can change the course of the situation.

Children guided by empathy usually realize they have hurt someone and will want to stop their negative behavior.

Some bystanders directly intervene by discouraging the person bullying, defending the target, or redirecting the situation away from bullying.

Other bystanders get help by rallying support from peers to stand up against bullying or by reporting the bullying to adults.

But the children who witness bullying have an incredibly powerful role in the situation.

They can make it worse (by joining in the bullying, encouraging the behavior, or escalating the situation), or they can make it much, much better for the target.

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These strategies can send the message that both children are “partly right and partly wrong,” or that, “We need to work out the conflict between you two.” These messages are not appropriate in cases of bullying (or in any situation where someone is being victimized).

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