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When he stops mentioning her, you think the madness has passed and you can breathe again.However, it can equally be a sign that the ‘friendship’ has moved to the next phase and your husband knows either consciously or unconsciously that he has something to hide. Does he seem to find constant fault or is irritable and snappy for no reason?Ask him whether he’s fed up and whether he thinks you relationship is in a rut or not. Actually, you do know what the issue might be because he’s mentioned it a hundred times before (but you’ve downgraded or dismissed it).If you’re still at a loss, discuss whether the kids take up too much of your time and the state of your sex life.This is because he’s looking for reasons to justify his bad behaviour, so what used to mildly annoying has become proof, in his mind, that your relationship is fundamentally flawed.Perhaps you love him so much that you want to believe him or you don’t think ‘he’s that type of guy’.We had a horrific argument which ended in me leaving with our 9 month old baby – as my fiancé would not show me his mobile phone bill to prove he had not been participating in these texts.
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So even if your suspicions are ungrounded, it is worth having a debate about when and where it is acceptable to use your smartphone.
Perhaps you’d like to make the bedroom a smartphone/tablet-free area, so you can concentrate on each other – chatting over the day or having sex together.
) rather than making accusations (‘You’re having an affair’).
The first approach will provide information that might be useful for rescuing the relationship but the second only invites a counter-attack.